20 Thoughts Of A First Time Juicer


  1. If people on Pinterest can do it, I can too!
  2. Why are there so many parts to this thing? My blender has only two parts.
  3. Should I read the instructions on how to work this thing? Naaahh…
  4. Ok here we go, what should I put in first? Does it even matter?
  6. Why isn’t any juice coming out yet? Am I doing something wrong? Let me add another fruit. And another one. And another one.
  7. Oh, juice!
  8. IT’S SO GREEN. Wait, is my shit going to be green tomorrow?!
  9. This isn’t so much work; I think I could do this everyday.
  10. Oh crap, why isn’t this carrot going down?
  11. I just put through two gallons of stuff and it only made one mason jar of juice?!?!
  12. Oh my god, now I need to clean this galactic looking machinery before everything goes rotten, or before the aliens abduct me.
  13. This kind of looks like something an alien would drink.
  14. Hold on… what if I’m an alien and I don’t know it yet? Is this why I have no friends? Bleep, bleep?
  15. At least now I know why Whole Foods wants me to sell my liver for just one glass.
  16. I should take a photo of this for Instagram before I drink from it – #Healthspo #Fitspo #NewYearNewMe #RiseAndGrind #Blessed
  17. Naw, this tastes like shit….
  18. No wait, I could get used to this.
  19. I should do a seven day juice cleanse!
  20. LOL, ok calm down there juice guru…


Yup – That’s the majority of my thought process the first time I tried juicing, even down to the alien stuff. If you’re interested in juicing, there are plenty of recipes and tutorials online. If you want to juice for the first time, I suggest making a more fruit-based recipe because some veggies can have quite a pungent taste and smell.

Though I highly suggest making yourself a juice one in a while (or maybe every day!), regardless if you want to try it or not, I hope this little article brought a smile to your face.


Wishing you much love and joy,






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